Saturday, 28 April 2012

The proof is in the pudding

I was cooking dinner, the fishcakes were browning under the grill the vegetables prepared and ready for a couple of minutes in boiling water. I had cut a sweetcorn into two and the pieces sat waiting on the chopping board. I left the kitchen for a little while while the grill slowly did it's business. On my return I noticed just one solitary piece of corn.

Questioning Hazel revealed that she had not moved it - she wasn't tricking me, or trying to make me think I had lost the plot. At that moment the dog skipped down the corridor licking his lips. Did he do it, is he a thief? The evidence is at best circumstantial, the looking pleased with himself demeanor, the skip in his step, the small damp patch on the studio floor indicating an impromptu picnic site. In his defence he has never stolen from the kitchen sides before but we do know he is motivated by food.

I have my suspicions but the proof will be back from forensics tomorrow - I am sure the corn will tell the story.

Monday, 9 April 2012


Oh dear... we were all downstairs for lunch but the wayward mutt was awol. Obviously it it was Easter egg hunt time!! He was found in Hannah's room on her desk eating a nice Cadbury egg, he has cleverly managed to take them from the box and unwrap in virtual silence.

This afternoon Marley sleeps in his crate in disgrace and Hannah sulks in her bedroom. You have to love a wet bank holiday Monday.

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Bloody Dog

At the weekend I was chatting to a couple whilst their young grandchild was making a fuss of the dogs. I said to the little lad, "This is Bob and Marley'. The grandmother told me that she already knew Marley, he was a regular visitor to their garden to steal food from the bird table - although she did mention he was a lovely dog. She than added that she wouldn't be seeing him anymore as they had a new fence!!

So, this morning I couldn't find the wayward hound. I heard a banging from the direction of the old couples garden. A quick look over the fence and I saw that Marley had successfully negated the new perimeter and to make matters worse had knocked over the newly installed bird table, the contents strewn across the lawn, a real Labrador picnic.

Bloody dog!!

Monday, 6 February 2012

Dancing on ice

A Marley moment - this wasn't quite a Marley adventure! 

Picture the scene, this morning's winter walk. A road cleared by the snow plough but still a shallow compact covering making things very slippery. I was tentatively moving forward on a steady course a dog on each side of me with them gently pulling on their leads. 

Ahead of us a lady with a small terrier - it spots my two and in a small dog way utters a little bark. Marley understands that this means 'Hey, come and play in the snow' and lurches forward. Not wanting to be left out Bob follows.

Sixty plus kilograms of dog force mean I have little choice but to go along with them scrabbling for balance and grip - like something from the Dancing on Ice out takes. We quickly arrive at our new friends, the little terrier now wishes he hadn't said hello and cowers behind his owner spinning her so she was no longer facing us.

Marley darts to her right and Bob to her left like a well practiced pinser movement. I have little choice, in fact - no choice, collision is inevitable. Contact is made like a high speed Heimlich maneuver on ice. After a brief flurry of twisted leads we untangle ourselves and I drag the mutts away. I am not saying contact was close but I am so glad I had cleaned my teeth.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

It's me or the dog?

Marley's watched two episodes of 'It's me or the Dog' and his behaviour doesn't seem to have improved. It is no good he is going to have to watch another episode tonight!!

Wednesday, 2 November 2011


Another Marley adventure ... please stop reading if you are easily grossed out!!

We are out on our morning walk on a beautiful Autumn morning. I notice Marley (for those who don't know he is the mischievous black labrador) is somehow struggling with his morning constitutional. 

As any good dog owner would, I investigate the situation, after a couple of bilious moments it appears that he is giving birth to a bright green alien - long and twisted and hideous. 

Further inspection proved that this was not just any alien but a Marks and Spencer 5p alien .... An M&S carrier bag!!

Friday, 7 May 2010


We spent some time in the studio today basically playing with lighting. Our model was the long suffering Marley who has pretty much grown up with cameras.

Wednesday, 31 March 2010


Out for a bracing walk, the early morning sun lighting the beautiful contryside, mind wandering, planning the day ahead . Two obedient, well behaved dogs by my side - makes you feel good to be alive.


Torrential rain finding every seam in my not so waterproof - mud, huge expanses of mud that will be transferred via the dogs to the house! Dog number one gets himself into a field where he should not be. A David Attenborough expedition, grappling through the wet undergrowth to recover the hound. Now having had enough we need to get back quickly, we head across the playing field and on approaching the footpath I reach for the leads - they are not around my neck. Must have dropped the bloody things so we set off retracing our steps. We bump - not literally into another dog owner who tells me he found my leads in the corner of the field so we head off to pick them up.

Dog number two - who shall remain nameless - gets into the 'no access' field and then seemingly disappears. Another undergrowth expedition ensues but I still can't locate the wayward hound. I soon realise that he has managed to get into a garden that backs onto the field. Through the hedge and fence I see him in the middle of the lawn looking really pleased with himself examining his find - a black rubbish sack. The 'gundog' approved whistle has no effect nor to my calls of 'what's this' - I now know I am going to late for my dentist appointment.

I get on my hands and knees - peering under the fence, this small gap is what he must have got through. A gust of wind blows some of the rubbish from the now torn black bag in my direction, He chases the soiled serviette - I grab and latch on to his collar. The other owners little dogs are now assisting with the rescue mission barking furiously - the little Jack Russell is trying to get thought the gap currently accommodated by my arm. How can I get a Labrador sized lump through such a small gap. I figure he must have managed to get through so should be a able to return. I pull with all my strength unceremoniously dragging the muddy mutt through the gap and the stinging nettles, yep, loads of them. How do they manage to sting through jeans!

Anyway - off home for a coffee? No such luck, dentist appointment for me.....

Update - stings over my hands, arms and left leg. Mouth numb from a filling - still no coffee! 

Monday, 11 January 2010


Poor old Marley has been under the weather for a couple of days but he still managed to pose for a picture.

Monday, 21 December 2009

Christmas party


Thomas and Amy were off to a Christmas party tonight - Marley got ready but they wouldn't take him.